Anyway I did try after that to get back to the work stuff but it's not working right now. I also got called on a mercy mission to look for hearing aid batteries down the gap in the sofa. Oh the joys of having mum-in-law staying with us! But headspace just isn't right for work so here I am. Sorry!
So...the hip thing. Or rather the groin thing. The hip itself is bloody brilliant. I see things in the FB groups about people who are several month post op but still use a stick as they limp, or have no strength, or for security as they feel unsafe in crowds. I count myself so lucky that I've always felt really secure with mine. I was back in my office at work 8 weeks after surgery, mixing with many other people, doing stairs and didn't feel at all vulnerable, just felt great. One wobbly moment on a slippy floor but really felt just normal. At 13 weeks I made a conscious decision not to take my stick on holiday when we went to Morocco, and got the big test of the very crowded streets of Marrakech and felt totally fine. And a month later in Barcelona we spent 3 days walking crowded streets, doing the hop on hop off buses, lots of opportunity for bustling and jolting but never thought twice about it. So the more I read of other people having difficulties one way or another, the more I realise what a godsend this has been for me.
But the groin has been a pain. I had a steroid injection in January having been diagnosed with tendonitis. For a couple of weeks it felt miles better. Not pain free but more like the level I'd been at say 4 months after surgery. I kept at the exercises but over the next few weeks it felt like I was fast forwarding through the old pain levels. I didn't get quite as bad as I had been in October last year, but it was a lot worse than after the injection. I saw Mr H-R 8 weeks after the injection, half expecting him to say I needed surgery. Instead he told me he felt the best option was to do nothing for now as tendonitis could often resolve on its own. He spelt out the risks of having the surgery which are the same as having any surgery in terms of risk, failure to cure etc. But he also says he has a 70% success rate in the patients he does go in on, with others just not seeing an improvement. To me those are pretty good odds. But it was clear he feels I should wait a bit before taking that step as I do have good movement and it doesn't interfere with my every day life. I asked about a second injection and he did say I could consider that but recommended having physio after it if I did. He also gave me the name of a different physio, not that there's anything wrong with Siobhan but a different person, different approach etc.
I felt a bit deflated to be honest. I did argue the toss a bit regarding it interfering with my normal life. Sure I can walk fine but it'd be nice to put my knickers on without quite so much performance. Anyway I decided I'd look into the injection plus physio option, though wasn't sure if the insurance would cover the physio. But when I rang them they said they would so I needed to sort the physio out. I rang the one he'd recommend and turns out she heads up a large practice in Alderley Edge and the receptionist said I might end up seeing one of the others. I said I did want someone specifically experienced in people with my issues and they took details and said Angie (the main lady) would call me back but she was down at a conference in London. I was slightly amazed when she rang me back one evening as I was just about to drive home from a meal out. Phone on the loudspeaker (no misbehaving and getting points thank you!) and we spoke for almost half an hour, with her asking loads of questions about my hip history (hipstory? yes new word there but it works!) She said she would like to see me before any injection so she saw me more in my 'natural' state, and could asses me properly then promptly booked me in for the coming Saturday morning.
I had a really good feeling about her as she had been so thorough on the phone and talking more about a holistic approach, looking at habits I might have unknowingly been getting into since my hip first problems first showed up back in 2010/11. When I got there she assessed my movement which she said was good - not really a surprise. She lay me down and put a hand on my chest and another on my tummy, and told me to take deep breaths. As I did she asked me if I was at all stressed. Well, how long have you got...
In early Feb my mum-in-law had a flood at her house and moved in with us until they can dry and repair hers. We go on holiday in May and it probably won't be done by then. We have now got that covered but up til now has been bloody hard work. It's like having a toddler again but without having the parental clout to go with it. She is very forgetful and pretty deaf so great fun in the morning when she tries to have a conversation before she's put her hearing aid in. And it feels like we have no time to ourselves now, and I have no time to myself at all. The house is so noisy as she has the TV on non-stop (ITV3 reigns supreme, oh joy, yet another Miss Marple!!). It puts a quite a strain on things and Kev and I are snapping at each other even more than usual.
And then there's work. A nice announcement a few weeks back that my group is merging with another and all our jobs change so we have to apply for new ones. I have seriously thought about just saying enough's enough and leaving with redundancy but it's not what I really want now. So I have to go through the joys of an interview. On the plus side I have a chance to apply for jobs at a higher grade though I don't hold out a huge deal of hope as I'm up against others already at that grade. On the down side I have to do all the prep anyway and possibly end up doing what for now seems like not a huge change from what I already do.
So yes I have stress in my life. She told me that I basically was breathing wrong, and that was likely partly due to the stress now but was possibly something I've got into over a period of time. I'm not using my diapragm properly and that means my whole core is weak and my hip flexors are taking a hit. She started pressing into my tummy and finding very sore bits. This is the big bad psoas. She also pressed along under my ribs which was moderately painful but she said she was releasing things in that area so I could start properly supporting my hip flexors. Then she pressed on my sternum in that bit under the front of my bra and then the pain was of the what-the-fuck, off the scale type. She said it was normal given the state I was in and told me to breath through it. I swear childbirth was less painful. And they gave me gas and air for that. Anyway she kept pressing and the pain subsided. Then 2 things happened which she was totally prepared for and which I wasn't. Firstly she tested my knee up movement again and it was much less painful, then as she was talking about not only physical but also emotional release, I just burst into tears. She just passed me the tissues and seemed pretty relaxed while I was snivelling and apologising for being what felt like a bit of an idiot to be honest.
When I calmed down she said she thought I could benefit from more sessions and hopefully avoid the need for another injection. She told me to work on my breathing and worry less about the stretches and exercises for now. I've since had one more session with her and a few more booked in and while the pain is still there it feels like it's stopped progressing and some days is less. I find that if I take a few minutes just focussing on calming and breathing right, then the pain is less. Listening to it, it does all sound a bit out there but I am open minded enough to give anything a try. And another bonus is that it's given me a bit of a stress management tool which is certainly very welcome right now.
So, I am hopeful about the groin pain. I'm not over hopeful about the higher grade job but as comfy as I can be that I will come out with no less than I have now. And after Thursday that's out of my hands anyway. Then I have some holiday to look forward to. Kev and I are going back to Kefalonia on 6 May for a week. The week before that I had booked us a couple of days in Brighton but he now won't be able to come because of his mum. But I am still going. I can meet up with some friends down south and with all that's gone on I just need a decent break.
And Liverpool have been winning some games lately :) And on the topic of Liverpool I have to remember the date today and realise that a bit of groin pain really isn't that bad. 28 years ago today 96 people, many of them pretty young, went to a football match and never came home. The truth has come out, we hope for justice to be served.
RIP. You'll Never Walk Alone
No comments:
Post a Comment