I have to make a confession...I read 50 Shades when the book came out. In fact thanks to a silly offer, I got all 3 to my Kindle for next to nothing and somehow managed to stick it out to the end. I think I hoped it had to get better. Then recently I saw the film, really because I felt I had to, having read the book. I'd downloaded it to my tablet for something to watch on the flight to the US on a recent business trip but found I was trying to hide it from view from the cabin crew as they came by! Actually it was bearable and killed some time, and mercifully there is no mention of inner goddesses...!
Now everybody probably knows the basic premise of the story...I must admit that while handcuffs and blindfolds might be a bit fun, if it's gonna hurt then it's a no go in my book. But it dawned on me that actually pain has started playing a bigger role in my bedroom life.
Now my boys have left home and there's not that horrible situation of having kids in the next room who would know what you're up to, we should be able to enjoy more spontaneous fun. Ok so we're older, work is busy and after almost 12 years together it's not quite the same as the early time when you're at it like rabbits, but we should still be able to have those moments of unbridled passion. Instead everything is now governed by 'will it hurt'. Cosmopolitan magazine used to have a 'position of the month'; mine would be anything that lets me move my leg without excrutiating pain during/afterwards. In fact afterwards can be worse...you think you've done OK then find you can't move and spend 15 mins trying to crawl off the bed in such a way that your leg still functions when you get vertical.
As passion killers go it's up there with thinking your mum or kids are going to walk in on you. Not to mention the fact that I have a hubby who's scared of hurting me and isn't sure if he's going to hear the throes of ecstasy or screams of pain. It's at the stage that getting both is good as the latter is almost guaranteed at some point! I think it's mother nature's way of breaking me into the fact that after surgery it'll be a total no go for a while, so she's making it as unpleasant as possible now so I won't miss it!
So while Anastasia may have an inner goddess doing somersaults, I have an inner old dear who's happy with a good book and a mug of hot chocolate :)
Take two. I did this once and pressed the wrong button. Bugger. I read all of your blog and loved it. I can relate to it all (Apart from the nooky and at 61 it hurts anyway and I would sooner not bother!) My op is on 25th Jan and I am bricking it. It may well be better but right now it doesn't hurt even if it is bone on bone! Still roll on April when I hope I can walk pain free on hols in Turkey. Wendy x
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