Now I'm hardly in the same position as I was then but I've been quite touched by the reactions of some people. I've seen things written by people in the FB group I'm in, saying how they've faced some unsympathetic reactions from work colleagues, and even friends and family. Clearly for somebody who doesn't claim to have a big friends network (size relating to network, not of friends!) I've been bloody lucky.
At work everybody has been so supportive. I've been mothered by some, telling me to be careful when they see me without my stick. Or telling me to use the lift (we have the slowest scariest lift in our building. It bounces as you get in). I've had people carrying my drinks for me. I have been so well looked after. And on the actual work side I am lucky enough to have some real stars who are being great and doing so much to make handing over work easier. My manager is brilliant and I'm constantly being told to look after myself and not to try to rush back.
I've had work colleagues offer to come visit, which I didn't expect as I don't live that local. I've had another friend offer to come over from Leeds, and even suggest she didn't want to seem like she was imposing. Hell no, impose away! I've only known Jan a couple of years, when Kev and I met her and Dave on our first cruise. By chance they were also on our second cruise and we're stalking them on out third in August. We also got together for Carfest last year and will be doing the same this year. And when they came to us then they were armed with chocolate. If that's imposing I can put up with it!
Another thing that's really boosted me has been reaction to this blog. I enjoy writing, it let's me focus my thoughts and I find it quite cathartic. The blog started primarily for me but almost straight away I thought other people in my situation might find it helpful. I don't claim to be inspiring but sometimes just knowing somebody else has the same fears and worries helps. I got a great reaction after sharing it in the FB groups so got a little bit brave and put it out for other friends to see. Since then I've been blown away by the number of messages I've had from people enjoying it with no hip connection at all. I always intended to continue blogging through my recovery and this has made me all the more determined to do so. Entertaining friends is a nice idea but I really hope I can help support another set of friends.
And those are the friends I will probably never meet. Those in the FB groups who have been through it all and are brilliant to learn from, and to indulge the rants of a stranger who is scared and excited in equal measure. Sometimes however good real life friends are, I just want to be able to ask the numpty things (wow spellchecker went for 'nudity' then) that only people who've been through it will understand. And I'm obviously not averse to online relationships in various forms; I met my hubby in an internet chat room and so far he hasn't turned out to be an axe-wielding maniac. Mind you after 6 weeks almost 24/7 with me he might well wish he was one.
All being well this time next week I'll be a few hours post-op. In the next few days I shall probably be all over the place. However much I tell myself it's OK, and I know it is, it won't stop my head messing up. I will be avidly reading stories from other hippies. I'll be sifting things out, trying to figure out what relates to me. I'll be worrying what might happen afterwards, wondering if I'm recovering at the right speed. It's what I do best. Apologies in advance to my friends, work colleagues or in cyberspace. Just avoid or humour me. Or bring me chocolate :)
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